The first thing you need to do during a breakup is….

AGREE TO THE BREAKUP!

agree to the breakup

agree to the breakup

Part of the reason for the change of heart, no matter what excuse your ex gave you,

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was that they need space. Give them the time they need to get their emotions in order. Agreeing to the breakup shows emotionally stability.

Nothing will bother your ex more than accepting the breakup and showing that you have decided to move on. This works wonders if one of the reasons they wanted to call things off was due to your neediness.

This is a short note but take it to heart and let this sink in! It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it will do wonders in giving you control in the situation.

I recommend

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copying and pasting this list of Do Nots and save it to a word document

or print it out so you’ll see it during this crucial time.

Do NOT:

1. Fear that it’s forever over and you’ll never get them back.

2. Act extremely nice and tell them you love them over and over again.

3. Try to argue the fact that it’s not really your fault.

4. Try to convince them that you’ve changed over time.

5. Constantly apologize for everything.

6. Call them over and over again

7. Try to stalk or spy on them

8. Try to get in touch with his friends or relatives

9. BEG THEM TO COME BACK TO YOU lawyer in mcallen

One of those best bonus books I’ve seen offered with products on this topic is Ryan Hall’s “21 Most Important Keys to Getting Your Ex Back” It’s part of an amazingly informative no BS plan to pull your ex back into your life.

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Get him back

Get Him Back

get him back

get him back

Do you have a confused ex?

One that just confuses the heck out of you?

What do I mean by a confusing ex?

One that “might” be playing games with you right now.

…calling you up randomly to talk about nothing…
…calling up and then hanging up…
…initiates contact but then doesn’t respond back to you…
…says things that sounds like they’re trying to make you jealous…

Sounds like he or she is confused or what?

Now you might want to think… maybe they’re having second
thoughts… perhaps they’re missing me…

I’ll let you know a “secret”.

Now is the TRIAL period. They’re TESTING you and trying to make YOU
crack.

DON’T fall for it.

Stay calm and cool.

Never let them see that it bothers you.
Don’t think anything of it.
Don’t READ into things.
Take it as they’re not mature enough or stable enough to know what
they want yet.
So you’re going to give them some time to work it out on their own.

Do you just wait?
What if you wait too long and they find someone else?

There is always that fear that if you don’t do anything, you’ll
lose them forever! So what can you do?

Get him back

These are the kind of questions covered in-depth by The Ex Recovery System…
sorry if you’re sick of me sprouting about it… but it
really works. And it is those that are still struggling and asking
these kind of questions that need this guide THE MOST.

I really want to see and hear about your OWN successful

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reunion story.
Really I do want to see you happy, because we’re the happiest when
we’re in love and WITH someone we love.

Give your relationship the chance it deserves, you can start
immediately.
How to get your ex boyfriend back.
You can submit site to improve your site ranking We have joined under Relationships Directory

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How to Keep your boyfriend and be happy in relationship

Me and my boyfriend have been dating since I was 15 years old, and I am now 22. At first when we started dating everything was awesome, we were really in love with each other, well at least I was, but I am pretty sure he loved me the same also. We were always together, and when we were apart, I would miss him dearly, and he would also miss me, I could tell because he would call me all the time. It was great for about the first year, then after that we started to argue about the silliest little things, and then get into arguing about everything. You can read more about me here.

We then would split up every other week, my friends would make fun of me, saying things like, ‘Oh your broken up for good, yeah right, tomorrow you will be back together.’ And the funny thing was they were right, we would make up just as easily as we would break up, and it was frustrating. We loved each other, but at the same time, could not stand each other some times, it was like we spent too much time together and we got on each others nerves or something. I could not really pin point the problems we were having, instead of talking about them, he would just get mad and walk away, leaving me confused even more. The longest period of separation was 2 weeks, and those 2 weeks were the longest 2 weeks of my life. He eventually asked me back

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but it just seems different now, I cant really explain it. Well I was sick and tired of this yo-yo relationship, that was until I purchased this book on how to get your ex back and totally changed my outlook on relationships. I have learned so much and have used it to not only better our relationships. I have learned so much and have used it to not only better our relationship, but my boyfriend now listens and talks to me and we are really in love, and plan on getting married next year. How to get your ex boyfriend back.

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Filed under: Patience and self- Discipline elements on how to get your ex boyfriend back.Uncategorized

Do Play a Bit Hard to Get with your ex

#1 Rule: Do Play a Bit Hard to Get With Your Ex

Once dumped in your relationship, it becomes difficult for an individual to get along easily with his/her ex. The pain and agony you had from the failure of your relationship makes you carry a little grudge in your mind for your ex Still, it’s hard to know how to act around your ex. My advice in this situation is to play a bit hard to get with your ex.
Nothing is actually

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wrong in giving the impression that your ex cannot win you back just by snapping their fingers. If you do not present yourself as challenging and adventurous, changes are your ex will lose interest in you. To keep the fire on, play a bit hard to get and make them work to get your attention.
Control your feelings: Make sure you are not talking to your ex when you are feeling upset, mad, frustrated, jealous or overcome with any excess of emotions. Prepare yourself ahead of time to be pleasant and non-emotional when you do talk to him or her. You should be friendly and polite, but don’t act like talking to them makes you all emotional.

*One tip that is very good to try is that when he calls you on the phone, even if you know its him, ask “Who’s this?” The fact that you are asking him, subconsciously tells him that he is not your priority!.
Be careful, If he gets mad or jealous, just calmly tell him, that it was just a response no big deal, and play it off, but do not apologize.
Now here is the kicker! 2 minutes into the conversation, politely say, “Hey is it okay if I call you back later, you called me in the middle of something”, but do not call him back. This will defitenily tell him that you are moving on and he is dangerously close to falling off your radar.

Be innovative, forget past and don’t let your

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past dictate all your actions in the present change your routines and make your ex feel that you have come up with innovations in your life. Become more attractive and presentable. The more changes you make and new things you do will just add to your appeal. Your ex will be more eager in knowing what else is going on in your life and that in turn makes you more of a challenge.
Be Elusive: Don’t be a pushover where your ex is concerned. Be somewhat elusive after all things are readily available don’t carry as much importance as those that you have to work for.

“Same goes for people: a hard to win person is more desirable than an easily won one.”

Take your time: If your ex is trying hard to get you on your mobile via text messages or on you email, take your own sweet time to respond, Don’t answer every communication and when you do remain casual.
Take help: Always take help from close friends and involve them in your plan of playing hard to get with your ex. They can help you to keep a distance from your ex which would otherwise be difficult amidst the flow of emotions.

For More Great articles on how to get your ex back to get your ex boyfriend back.

playing hard to get with your ex

Do play hard to get with your ex boyfriend

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Step Three: Lick your wounds

ATTENTION: If you are in hurry and want to skip this page then you can Click This link to learn How to Get Your boyfriend back GUARANTEED ways to make your ex boyfriend beg for YOU back!

 

Step Three: Lick your wounds

Lick Your Wounds

Self Repair

I know the break up has left you with many invisible scars.  Now we are going to heal you, so that you are truly ready to approach your ex and request reconciliation.  All the healing steps I will share with you will raise your Personal net worth.  The goal here is first and foremost about you.  We want you to feel better about yourself.
Feeling better about yourself is valuable in its own right.  But, there is a side benefit to your own self-healing:  you will become more attractive to your ex!
Keep remembering as you self-care that you are actually helping your relationship.

Why?

People who love themselves are more attractive to others.  In doing so, you will increase your chances of getting your ex back.

But, here’s the paradox.  You must not have any agendas as you engage in this self-care.  Do it for yourself and let go of any expectations of outcome.  Paradoxically, the more you surrender and detach from the outcome and the healthier you get, the more you increase your chances of getting back with your ex.
Healing The Soul.  When you’re physically ill, it’s time to be still and rest.  Similarly, when you’re emotionally upset or sick at heart, you need to sit still and do nothing.  This is your time for healing.

No Action.  During times of pain, it’s normal for people to go into action.  An unconscious way to discharge painful feelings is to engage in various actions, which include: eating, drinking, drugging, slashing photos, excessive spending, or love terrorism–calling, emailing, texting and stalking. But these actions are only a temporary fix, like a drug. In the long run these actions make the problem worse. While the action may temporarily release the emotional pressure, giving in to these urges will increase your chances of ending up permanently separated or divorced.

If you Cant Act, What can you do?
When you’re feeling like you can’t tolerate the painful feelings, force yourself to sit still and do nothing.  Sit on your hands if you must.  Break every finger of both hands if you have to. But don’t call, email, text or send out smoke signals such as calling mutual friends and family members, hoping that the message will get back to your ex. Also resist begging, pleading and engaging in convincing behaviors.  These are all turn offs.

 Lie Still and Hold Your Heart.
So what can you do when you’re going out of your skin with hurt, jealousy, despair, longing, emptiness, sadness or anger?

Lie on your left side in a fetal position and hold our heart, literally.

As you hold your broken heart, say aloud to yourself, nurturing, sweet, maternal words of comfort.

But don’t lie down for more than a few minutes.  Don’t stay in bed.  Don’t watch hours of TV. Don’t spend hours paging through your photo albums.  After you’ve held your heart, get up and do something self-nurturing like taking a bubble bath or treating yourself to a massage or pedicure.

If You’re Still Having A Meltdown, Breath.
If you sill find yourself overcome with pain, crying your eyes out, imagining your ex stepping out with someone else, panicking that you’re going to be alone for the rest of your life…breathe deeply.

Bringing more oxygen to your brain is often sufficient to calm the spirit.  Breathing can also stop a full-blown pain attach dead in its tracks.

If you’re Still Freaking Out, Give Yourself A Talking To!
Speak to yourself in a loving, nurturing voice, uttering affirming statements.  Remind yourself that no feeling lasts forever.  The acute pain will subside in a few minutes.
It’s also important to know that emotional meltdowns are always preceded by upsetting thoughts.
By far, one of the best techniques for  getting your boyfriend back are taught by relationship guru Matt Huston. Check out this incredible Free Audio Clip on the first moves you should be making after your boyfriend breaks up with you. How to get your ex back.

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Step Two: Letting The Dust Settle

ATTENTION: If you are in hurry and want to skip this page then you can Click This link to learn How to Get Your boyfriend back , GUARANTEED ways to make your ex boyfriend beg for YOU back!

Let the dust settle

Step Two: Letting The Dust Settle

Before attempting reconciliation it's vital that you retreat to seperate corners and prepare for your comeback.
In this article, I discuss the reasons why your ex boyfriend needs time and why you do to.
I know being seperated from your beloved makes you feel frantic, like you have to hurry and get your ex back before it's too late.
But Wait!

Neither you nor your ex is ready for contact let alone reconciliation.
First let's talk about your ex's need for some breathing room.
Your ex left for a reason. He or she has been unhappy with the relationship for some time. That's why your ex left in the first place! Even though the break up may have occurred abruptly, you need to realize that, for your ex, it was a long time coming; the split did not materialize out of nowhere.
It's important for you to remember that your ex isn't in the same headspace that you're in. You've been left and you want him or her back. But he or she left because the relationship wasn't working for him or her. The last thing your ex wants right now is to come back home.

This last statement is all the more true if you are the one who left, but have had a change of heart. You now have even more of an uphill battle of regaining and rekindling feelings of love.
As much as you want to get your ex back, you need to consider what happens when you try to change somenone's mind: The walls get taller and thicker. The resistance grows stronger.
As Ignatius of Loyola, the famous mystic and founder of the Sesuit Order said regarding influencing others: “You should enter through their door but have them leave though yours.”
Or to quote the popular phrase, “If you can't beat 'em join 'em.” To dissolve your ex's resistance to reconciling, you must put your foot on his side of the emotional fence. Don't try to talk your ex out of his anger, doubts, fears and dissappointments. You need to get inside your ex's heart and head and truly understand where he is coming from. Joining the resistance is the first step toward dissolving the wall that separates you now.
At this point, the only appropriate communication is a one-time handwritten note, email or voicemail message (yes, I mean call when you know that you can't talk live!) that you have been thinking it over and you're beginning to realize why he was so unhappy and felt that breaking up was the only answer. That's it. Hand up, put a sock in it, click “off,” shut up. You get the point.

If you are the one who did the leaving, your version of the message should be some version of: “I am sorry I was not able to meet your needs,” or “I understand better why I was not able to meet your needs.”
This message is going to percolate in your ex's mind and heart and begin the healing process for him. Yes, I do mean that your ex needs to heal too. It's important for you to keep in mind that your ex is hurting as well. If he left you, then in his mind you did a lot of things wrong. Up to this point your ex hasn't felt that you truly understood his feelings. If your ex had felt understood by you, truly understook, he wouldn't have left in the first place. The way to change that perception is to show that you're now aware of and concerned about his feelings.

In the case where you initiated the breakup, making this statement will be even more intriguing, since in your ex's mind, he somehow let you down. Now you're turning the tables and saying that you feel you let him down and were not able to meet his needs. Of course, this has to be sincere, so think about whether or not this is true. I bet if you look closely enough, you will find that no matter how much your ex let you down, you let him down as well to some degree. Remember what I said in the beginning: relationships fail because both parties are not meeting each other's needs.

It is also true taht sometimes people will break off a relationship becuase they don't know how to give or relate to another person and don't have the emotional ability to meet their partner's needs. This in turn makes them feel inadequate, and they terminate

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the relationship becuae it is not making them feel good about themselves.

It is also very important to remind yourself that you want to control yourself especially when it comes to your ex. Remember, if you don't control yourself at home, you won't lose your job, you'll lose your relationship.

Until you are skilled at properly handling your emotions, you are far from ready to approach your ex. Now, I want you turn to yourself, chill out and heal.
The more healed you are the more attractive you will be to your ex. Let's face it; wounded pups aren't that attractive. Nor is desperation, insecurity, begging, pleading, following, and generally pushing too hard and too fast.
By far, one of the best techniques for getting your boyfriend

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back are taught by relationship guru Matt Huston. Check out this incredible Free Audio Clip on the first moves you should be making after your boyfriend breaks up with you.

For More Great articles on how to get your ex back to get your ex boyfriend back.

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Get him back: Its a process, Step One

By far, one of the best techniques for getting your boyfriend back are taught by relationship guru Matt Huston. Check out this incredible Free Audio Clip on the first moves you should be making after your boyfriend breaks up with you.

 

Step One: Where did we go wrong?
In this first step, I provide a general overview that explains why your relationship fell apart. When you understand what was missing in the relationship, you will realize how simple it is to reignite your love and make your relationship even stronger than it was before the break up.
In subsequent articles, I offer step-by-step instructions that will help you to draw your ex back into your loving arms.
How did you end up here?

Before I lay out the steps you need to reconcile with your ex, it’s vital to understand why your relationship unraveled in the first place.
What I’m about to say may sound overly simplistic, but I promise you, it’s true: The simple truth is that your relationship fell apart because both you and your ex failed to meet each other’s needs.

In reality, all humans are nearly identical when it comes to what they need to be happy in a relationship. The good news is these needs are not complicated.
When you understand these universal needs, you will instantly grasp what was missing for your ex, and what you need to do to bring your ex back and motivate him to stay with you forever.
So what is this universal, driving need that all living creatures share?

The need is simple: Seek pleasure and avoid pain.
In relationship terms this means that we are all drawn to people who trigger pleasurable, positive feelings in us; people who make us feel good when we’re around them. In fact, research out of University of Washington’s research yielded the finding that for a relationship to survive couples must maintain what’s called the “Five to One Ratio.” Simply put, each and every day couples must offer five positive communications for every one negative communication. If couples don’t keep this up, according to statistics, their relationship will be dead within 5 years.

To cut to the chase, if you want to get your ex back and you want to motivate him to stay with you forever, you must do three things:
1) Heal the emotional damage you suffered from the break up and boost positive feelings within yourself.
2) Rekindle your ex’s positive feelings for you.
3) Re-establish trust by proving that you aren’t on your best behavior just to win him back; you have really grown and changed, meaning the positive feelings are here

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to stay!

Since you’ve been in trouble for a while, we both know that you’re facing an uphill battle. But don’t worry. I’ll show you how to tip the scales from negative back to positive. I know how to get you there.

Relationship essential nutrients

Positive feelings flow when couples provide each other with what I call Relationship essential nutrients.
Think about the human body: it thrives when it is fed essential nutrients and it dies when it’s deprived of these nutrients. A relationship is no different. If it is not constantly being fed its own essential nutrients, it , too disintegrates. When these essential nutrients are missing, or are not delivered at the right frequency , conflict and fighting overtake the relationship. It’s not long before the relationship falls apart.
Once you realize what these relationship essential nutrients are, you will quickly see what’s been missing in your relationship all along. Provide these ingredients and your ex will have the right feelings about you, the relationship and about him or himself in the relationship. It is these positive feelings that will make your ex want to come back to you and stay.

Relationship essential nutrients for a man
It’s important to realize that what a man needs from a relationship is very different from what a woman needs.
Let’s start with what a man needs from his partner.

Give Him Two “A”s
Men are raised to make things happen, to act and product.
When a man loves a woman, he is wired to move heaven and earth to make her happy.
In turn, a man needs to feel that his woman values what he DOES for her. In short, men need to be “A”dmired and “A”ppreciated for their strength, power, achievements, as well as their efforts to protect and provide for their women and offspring. These are the two “A”s.
Most relationships go sour for men because women nag and complain about what their man is NOT doing right. In no time, a guy feels useless as a man, which causes him to give up on his partner and find another woman who does value him. Since couples tend to shower each other with praise during the honeymoon phase, it is easy for a many to feel seduced by the rewards of another new relationship in which he feels unconditionally appreciated. When a man gets appreciation from his partner, he doesn’t need to go looking elsewhere for it.

To have a happy relationship or marriage, the savvy women knows that she must directly state what she wants and what pleases her rather than complain after the fact over what she didn’t get.
Now I know my women readers may be thinking: “If a man loves me, he should know what I want without my having to tell him!”
I’m here to tell you that nothing could be farther from the truth!
Let me explain. Many people come to adult relationships dragging unhealed wounds from childhood. One common wound comes from having been raised by a mother who wasn’t properly “attuned” to your needs when you were very young, a mom who wasn’t sensitive enough to know what you needed when you were too young to speak your needs. If mom didn’t sense and meet your needs way back when, you will come to adulthood expecting your partner to guess your needs and fill in the missing blanks within yourself.

This wound is one of the many possible reasons why a woman might expect her man to read her mind and guess what she wants (or she may state the opposite of what she wants, expecting her partner to guess what she really means). She is looking for her partner to mother her the way her own mother should have.
Now hear me and hear me good. Men are not wired to be mind readers. No man on earth can be expected to make up for missing mothering. For one thing, they don’t have breasts (not unless they eat too much chicken!) Expecting them to pick up where mother failed is just a formula for failure.
You must get it through your head that expecting a man to mind read is just not part of the job description.
So if a woman wants a relationship that works, she must directly state what she wants.
But there’s more. Remember we’re talking about creating a positive feeling in a man by giving him the relationship essential nutrients that he needs.
Well, when a woman says what she wants and her man responds to her needs, he must receive positive feedback from his woman (remember the two A’s: admiration and appreciation).

The smart woman knows that she must encourage a man to continue doing what works for her by verbally acknowledging and appreciating his efforts (women need the same kind of consideration, of course!). This is simple conditioning. Think of pavlov’s dogs. Pavlov blew the whistle when he served food to his dogs. Soon the dogs associated of a feeding. It didn’t take long for the dogs to salivate at the mere sound of the whistle, even when no food was offered.

People are no different from dogs. When you feed (meaning praise) a behavior that you like, the person you praise is motivated to continue that behavior, since the behavior is associated with pleasure.
I know my women readers may be thinking at this point. Why should I have to reward him for doing what he’s supposed to do? Well think about how a baby learns to walk. He’s supposed to walk, true, but he’ll never learn how to walk if his parents don’t praise his efforts with smiles and cheers.

Love is a process

 

Grownups are no different.
Since all humans seek praise, when a woman offers adequate admiration and appreciation, she is fueling a man to continue doing what she likes. In fact, the praise that a woman offers her man is actually a gift that she gives to herself!
The point is, men will go to the ends of the earth and slay countless dragons to please the women they love. So long as a man feels that he is pleasing his women, he’ll never stop. When praise stops, a man loses all motivation to continue strong positive feelings for each other. It is your strong feelings, properly channeled, that can reignite the flame of love that still burns beneath the smoldering ashes of anger and hurt. It is only this flame that will bring you both back together.
No techniques, strategies or memorized lines will have any positive effect on rekindling your love and reconciling you with your ex if your words and actions aren’t backed by the ‘right’ feelings. Because feelings are infectious, if you give your ex the right feelings about you, your relationship and about him or herself in the relationship, you will trigger the “right” feelings toward you.
Positive feelings are like sparks that can rekindle

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your love and also the glue that binds you together for life. ‘
When all might seem lost at the moment, consider the possibility that your love is not gone but merely buried by emotional debris. The only way to revive the relationship is to resuscitate those loving feelings.
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Love’s Nutrition Essentials

By far, one of the best techniques for getting your boyfriend back are taught by relationship guru Matt Huston. Check out this incredible Free Audio Clip on the first moves you should be making after your boyfriend breaks up with you.

 

Nutrition Essentials for Love

The first step of my five-step make up program consists of understanding why your relationship derailed. In this step I describe the Relationship Essentials Nutrients that all relationships need to survive. With this understanding, you will know exactly what you need to do and say to your ex in order to motivate him to come back to you and stay for a lifetime.
The second step explains why giving yourself and your ex some space is vital to getting back togeather. You cannot reconcile until the dust has settled.
The third step, Lick Your Wounds, explains how to heal your body, mind and soul from the injury you suffered from the break up. The healing steps I outline will increase what I call your Personal Net Worth. Completing this step will make you a

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healthier and more desirable person, which

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will improve your chances of reconciling with your ex.
In the next step, Taking Stock, I guide you to evaluate yourself, your ex and your relationship. This evaluation will give you a clear understanding of your own role in the break up and what you need to improve within yourself. In this step, I also help you to examine your ex’s role in the break up and whether he is ready for a relationship.
Lastly, I help you make a complete assessment of your relationship, including studying your level of compatibility and examining whether your ex is truly an ideal partner for you. This information will be essential in helping you insure that getting back together is the right decision. If you do decide to reconcile, the knowledge gained in this step will help you and your ex not fall into the same traps in the future.
Last, but not least, step five guides you, step-by-step, on how to handle the conciliation process, from initial contact to the finish line. So without further ado, lets roll up our sleeves and get down to the business of getting your ex back together!
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How to get Your Ex Back

By far, one of the best techniques for getting your boyfriend back are taught by relationship guru Matt Huston. Check out this incredible Free Audio Clip on the first moves you should be making after your boyfriend breaks up with you.

 

How This Website Came About

I want to share my story with you. The fact that you are reading this right now, I suspect means that your own situation is similar to how mine was. I want you to take confidence from the fact that I was able to turn things around completely. If I could do it, you can too, and I’m going to show you how, just like I have shown hundreds of others before you.
BEING IN LOVE
My story starts like so many, I was in love. I was completely head over heels in love with a man, a wonderful kind caring man. He was the kind of man I had dreamed about meeting. He had many beautiful qualities, but the best of all was that he loved me back.
Being in love with someone who feels the same way about you, is the most amazing feeling in the world. Perhaps you have experienced that feeling as well? When I was with him, I felt like I was complete. When we were apart, it was like a part of me was missing. Although I didn’t know it at the time, that was part of our undoing, but I will get to that later.
We were together for three years when things started to go wrong. My man, I’ll call him James although that’s not his real name, started becoming distant. It wasn’t a sudden thing, it started, although I do know how. He started working late. At first, just a few days a week. But he started coming home later and later, and before very long, it was every evening.
I was convinced

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he was seeing another woman. I couldn’t understand why though. Everything between us had been so good. Why did he feel the need to start seeing someone else?
Of course, I confronted him over this, and at first he denied everything. We would end up arguing, and with time, the arguments became screaming matches, and one or other of us would invariably storm out of the house, and I always ended up crying.
BREAKING APART
I desperately wanted things to be like they were before. I wanted to snap my fingers and make everything right again, but I couldn’t do anything right. James started staying out all night. Then one horrible day, my worst fears were confirmed when my best friend called to say she had seen him out with another woman.
When I put that to him, he broke down and confessed all. He told me that yes he was seeing someone else. But the worst was yet to come. James then told me that he was moving out of the house, and was going to move in with this other woman.
As he spoke those words, it felt like he had plunged a knife into my chest, and cut out my heart. Everything that happened in the days that followed became a kind of blur. I felt a strange detachment, like nothing was quite real. My mind couldn’t keep up with the endless questions that were racing through it…Why had this happened?
What had I done to deserve this? Why me? Why now? What could I do to stop it?
Within a few days he was gone – he had taken his belongings and left. The last time he closed the door behind him, I collapsed on the floor, unable to control the floods of tears…the agony…the writhing pain in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to die.
I felt worse than alone – I felt like a huge part of me had been cut out and taken away. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of total helplessness. And still the questions kept coming…the biggest of all were “Why has this happened?” and “How can I fix this?”
LIFE BECOMES MEANINGLESS
In the weeks and months that follow James departure, my life quickly degenerated. My work suffered, my health suffered, and even my friends didn’t seem to want to be around

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me. Why would they? I was no fun to be with, I seemed to bring a cloud of gloom into any room I entered.
Those friends that I did still see tried to help, but they didn’t seem to understand how I felt. In fact, in their efforts to try and comfort me, they only seemed to make matters worse! They would say things like “He was cheating on you, you’re much better off without him” or “There are plenty more fish in the sea!” – I wanted James?! Nobody could answer the questions that kept me awake every night…Why did this happen? How can I fix this?
MY QUEST
Slowly I began to realize that if I wanted to get answers to those questions, I was going to have to get them myself. And so began my quest for the truth. It was a journey that took me half way around the world, as I sought out those who held the answers. Little by little, I learned some of the most fundamental secrets of life. Sometimes the truth was hard to bear. But by accepting it, I was able to move on step by step. As I applied what I learned, I turned my life around. I won back James, and I won back my life.
YOU CAN GET BACK YOUR EX
Now I am going to share with you the same life secrets that I learned. I am going to tell you the principals of life, what makes things happen the way they do. Then I am going to put everything together into a practical seven-step formula that you can put into practice to win back your ex, or save your relationship. And you’ll improve your life immeasurably at the same time.
Some of what I am going to share with you might seem a little difficult to believe, or hard to swallow. But I urge you to bear with me. Think about everything I say. Try what I propose. I have helped hundreds, probably thousands of couples. These teachings are based on fundamental truths, universal laws. They apply to everybody. You can choose to accept them, and work with them to your advantage, or you can choose to deny and ignore them, and remain powerless and unhappy.
Part One – Realize Your Power
The first universal truth that you must understand, the first step to turning around your life, is to realize that everything that happens in your life, happens as a result of you.
You create your own reality.
I mean this in every sense. You create your own reality on every level. On a physical level, everything you do shapes what happens around you. And at an inner level, the way you perceive what happens around you also shapes your reality.
This has profound implications. But before we get into those, let me help you better understand how you are in complete control of your reality.
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be born lucky? Some folks win all the competitions, they seem to get all the money, all the good stuff life has to offer just seems to flow their way? And at the same time, some people seem to attract bad luck? The key word here is attraction. Everything that happens to you does so because of the universal law of attraction. This is something that is well understood by highly successful people. The law of attraction has created great fortunes. It has also created massive poverty.
The law of attraction simply states that you get what you ask for. If you believe strongly enough that something will happen, it will happen.
This is the basis of prayer. It is the basis of ‘wishing’. It is the basis of magic.
Every society and culture has it’s own way of packaging the law of attraction into something that is acceptable and believable, but the underlying universal law itself is the same.
But there is a big problem with this law. As I have said, when you believe in something strongly enough, it will become your reality. And the problem is that most people find it easier to believe that bad stuff will happen to them than good stuff. And so bad stuff does happen to them!
Think about this for a minute…Have you ever thought that something bad was going to happen, and then it did? This happens all the time!
Now you might be saying “I didn’t ask for my relationship to go wrong!” But the fact it did go wrong is evidence to the contrary. Take my own story as an example. James started coming home from work a little late. At first, it was once or twice each week. Although I didn’t know it (because I never thought to ask), James was hoping to get a promotion. He was working on a big project for a potential new client, and he wanted to make absolutely sure that he won over his client, in order to convince his boss that he deserved the promotion. Naturally this extra work meant he finished working late some days. That was his reality, and the reality of the situation.
In my mind though, I was already scared of losing James. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and deep down I felt like I didn’t deserve him. Although I was very grateful and happy that he was with me, I always had this little niggling feeling that somehow there was a mistake, that I didn’t deserve James. I worried that one day he would decide that being with me was a mistake.
So when he started coming home late, my immediate reaction was to think that my worst fears were being confirmed. I imagined all sorts of scenarios. He was seeing other women. He was laughing at my behind my back. He was planning how he would leave me. Every time he came home late, I would run these scenarios through my mind. Each time, they would become more and more real. I was more and more convinced he was cheating on me. So of course, when he did come home, I would bombard him with questions about where he had been. Why hadn’t he called? What did he thing he was doing? I never stopped to consider other, more positive possibilities. Now imagine this from James’ point of view. He was working late to try win a promotion, which would mean a better life for both of us. And yet when he got home after working hard, what did he get? A loving partner who asked how his day had gone? Who offered sympathy for his long hard day? No! He got bombarded with accusing questions! How do you think that made him feel?
The longer this went on, the more James started to question what he was doing. I was driving a wedge between us, and so when one day another woman did walk into his life, he seized the opportunity as a means of escape. In my mind, he was having an affair, and the terrible way I had acted drove him to actually start having an affair! I had created my own nightmare reality.
How different things would have been if I had not been the suspicious and controlling partner. If, instead of battering him with accusations when he got home late, I had instead offered support and comfort for his hard day, then when that other woman walked into his life, he would never even have given her a second glance! This happens all the time. I have coached countless people who have lost their lover, and in every single case, they have eventually been able to see that it was their own actions that created their situation.
And so even when we think we are acting in the best interests of the relationship, often we are working against it.
Human beings are essentially selfish creatures. We see things from our own point of view with ease, but we have difficulty considering other points of view.
Coming to terms with the fact that it was my own actions that had destroyed our relationship, was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Up until the time I learned and understood the law of attraction, I was convinced that it was James who had been at fault. After all, he was the one who had had the affair! But it was my own actions that drove him to it, and those actions came about as a direct result of what I thought about.

elephant

A Simple Exercise
Action Point: If you are in any doubt as to the power of the law of attraction, and it is understandable – normal even – then here is something you can try today which will prove it to you. It is a very very simple experiment, but I urge you to try it, as it proves the concept, and this concept is fundamental to life, and to getting your relationship back on track. For the rest of today, I want you to picture in your mind’s eye that is, imagine an image of , an elephant. I am assuming that you do not have daily contact with elephants. Think about the elephant as often as you can, over the course of today and tomorrow. Think of an elephant before you go to sleep, when you wake up, when you eat, when you drink. Think of the elephant when you check the time, and when you brush your teeth. And over the course of the next 48 hours, keep your eyes, your ears, and your mind open, and you will without doubt, during that time, either see a picture of an elephant, see a real elephant, or hear talk of an elephant.
This is just a very simple demonstration of the law of attraction. How often do you see elephants? Not every day, I am sure. And yet if you concentrate hard enough, somehow an elephant will be attracted into your reality within 48 hours. You can repeat this experiment as often as you like, by thinking about other people or objects.
You’ve Already Done This
You probably already Done This
You probably already have practical experience of this same phenomenon. How often have you found yourself suddenly thinking about an old friend or relative that you have spoken to in ages, only to have them call you out of the blue the next day? This is the law of attraction in action!
The law of attraction applies to everyone. We are all created equal when we come into the world, and yet some people get all the good luck and others all the bad luck. Some make all the money. Success seems to attract success. Money goes to money. The reality is that lucky people aren’t any different to unlucky people. Luck is simply their reality! They are used to winning, they are sued to good things happening to them. That reinforces their beliefs, they expect good things to happen, and the law of attraction means that good things do happen.
Exactly the same thing works in reverse. Unlucky people expect the worst, and so of course, they are not disappointed. They attract bad luck.
When you accept the law of attraction, you must accept that you are, one way or another, responsible for the failure of your relationship.
The good news is that the very same universal law means that you are capable of saving that relationship. Later on, I’m going to give you the framework to do just that. But before I do, there are some other truths that need to be understood.

By far, one of the best techniques for getting your boyfriend back are taught by relationship guru Matt Huston. Check out this incredible Free Audio Clip on the first moves you should be making after your boyfriend breaks up with you.

For more great articles on how to get your ex back click here.

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Filed under: Win Back Your Ex Boyfriend

Searching your Soul: and Get your Ex Back

By far, one of the best techniques for getting your boyfriend back are taught by relationship guru Matt Huston. Check out this incredible Free Audio Clip on the first moves you should be making after your boyfriend breaks up with you.

How to get Your Ex Back

How to get Your Ex Back

Searching Your Soul

The end of a romantic relationship is always painful even if it seems inevitable. It doesn’t matter if you’ve only been together 30 days or 30 years. The emotional investment you have made in a relationship makes you feel like a failure when it ends, no matter the reason why. Some people become depressed, even suicidal because the pain of a break up can be overwhelming.

As human beings, we are hardwired for relationships. We depend on other people for a variety of reasons, but it starts from childhood. As a child, we depend on parents or caregivers to give us food, shelter and protection. We develop emotional attachments to provide stability, focus and a sense of identity. We carry this need throughout most of our lives, choosing people outside our family to connect with to provide pretty much the same thing. But things don’t always go as planned.

Even if your break up was gradual and you are far from devastated, you may still love your ex and think that continuing the relationship will be better for both of you. There is no reason for a break up to be the end of the line for you or your ex, because emotional attachment is hardly a steady stream. There are ups and downs in emotions, and the same applies in a relationship. Even the best of relationships have their highs and lows. A break up could be a result of one of those lows, and it’s up to you to make sure there’s a high in the offing.
This series will help you get your ex back in seven days flat! You get your self-respect and your ex back at the same time.

Reasons Why
But before you embark on the more practical applications of this series , Day 1 will deal with the half of the equation that you can handle right now: YOU.
There are many reasons why couples break up. The most common ones include:

Infidelity

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side cheats and gets caught
Boredom – there’s nothing new in your relationship; familiarity breeds contempt
Physical incompatibility – you have different ideas of what is physically desirable, whether in aspect or behavior i.e. your ex likes long hair, you like short
Emotional incompatibility – you have different emotional needs that may be mutually exclusive i.e. your ex needs you around all the time; you need some alone time on a regular basis
Psychological differences – you respond to situations that your ex finds incomprehensible i.e. you get angry when your ex leaves the toothpaste cap off or

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the toilet seat down or vice versa
Intellectual inequality – you feel you’re smarter than your ex and show it
Social differences – your ex hates your friends, family, business associates or vice versa
Failure to share expectations – you want kids, your ex doesn’t
Lack of trust – it could be with money, children, ability to work out problems, etc.
Lack of flexibility – you or your ex sticks to what is familiar and is unwilling to try something new
Lifestyle – you like to party all night, your ex prefers to stay at home with a book
Abuse – this can be physical or emotional; in this case it may not be a good idea or possible to look for a reconciliation.

In any of these cases, you always have some degree of involvement, even if it is of a passive nature. After all, this is a relationship, and you need two to tango. You may need to get some therapy to uncover the cause behind the reason for your breakup. The apparent reason is not always the real one. It is important to acknowledge exactly why the break up occurred before you can start planning how to get your ex back. It will give you a head start on what you need to do, as well as ensure that it doesn’t happen again.

In a breakup, you don’t have to be the dumpee to feel the need to get back with your ex. You could be the dumper and realize you’ve made a mistake. But it’s too late; your ex has been hurt and has moved on.

It doesn’t matter whose fault it was, either. In order for a relationship to work, there has to be no self-righteousness because it makes you quick to point the finger and relinquish responsibility. For example, your ex cheated on you and so you, feeling betrayed, break it off. But you never really found out why your ex felt the need to cheat on you. You have to do some serious soul searching to find out.

By far, one of the best techniques for getting your boyfriend back are taught by relationship guru Matt Huston. Check out this incredible Free Audio Clip on the first moves you should be making after your boyfriend breaks up with you.

For More Great articles on how to get your ex boyfriend back to how to get your boyfriend back.

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